Women Leaders
The Double Bind
Many women in leadership carry a form of fatigue that is often unacknowledged — the necessity of a second job in managing how she is perceived, how her expression of authority is delivered, how she has to read a room to communicate — in ways her male counterpart often does not have to.
Known as the double bind of women in leadership, behaviors read as confident and commanding in a man are often interpreted differently in a woman. Being too direct or commanding can be read as too aggressive, calm composure in certain situations as heartlessness, politeness as weakness. Adjusting to accommodate this double standard costs energy — never mind managing the consequences of such persistently misaligned reception.
The Internal Cost
Even less acknowledged is where this goes internally. Gradually, the external constraint and effort has an internal cost. Did she go too far, push too hard, not hard enough, misread the room? Among other things, such ongoing double management can become embedded as self-doubt. It isn’t her fault that, among her myriad leadership responsibilities, this too is part of her burden. She mistakenly counts as a personal failing the consequence of a long cultural history of gender expectations.
This internal dimension is also explored in: The Impostor Question.
See also the case illustrations: Hanna — on what a moment of visible strain costs a woman leader and what it can open.
What Becomes Possible
Fortunately, she does not need to stop there and only rue the reality of cultural overlay on organizational life. At a minimum, she may review with others — other women leaders, networked communities, whoever is useful — tactics for navigating the terrain more effectively. At least as importantly, she can examine what she may have internalized without realizing it: whether she has habituated herself to restraint because it is genuinely risky in her specific context, or because she has simply stopped experimenting. The adaptations she has made can be honored as necessary, meaningful, and intelligent — even if some may eventually be recognized as having outlived their usefulness. Such review can help her return to the room — not necessarily louder or less careful, but more grounded, and feeling less alone with it.
For a deeper exploration, see: What Women Leaders Carry.
See also: senior leadership coaching.